Week 5: Check!

We have successfully reached half way through lecture phase of my DTS! Crazy!

Updates for outreach: I will be leaving November 10 from LAX to Kathmandu, Nepal. While in Nepal we will hike to an unreached village in the Himalayas for a week. I am completely ecstatic! BAHHHH! (Sorry, that was me being excited.) December 3 the orphan care DTS will be leaving for either Mumbai or Calcutta India and the human trafficking DTS will be leaving for Cambodia. December 28 both DTS groups will fly back to Nepal, then we will fly home to Vegas on December 29. Together, my beautiful new family will celebrate the New Year catching up on stories of God radically moving. January 9 I will "graduate" from YWAM Las Vegas. Then I embark on an adventure God has yet to fully reveal to me.

On Wednesday, our evening outreach was called the cross walk. We were in pairs and each pair took a turn carrying the cross. The other pairs walked behind and talked to people who were staring, talking about the cross or who we felt led by the Holy Spirit to talk to. God has given me a heart for talking to strangers. I love going up to people, striking up conversations and praying for them. I do not, however, enjoy having people watching me and talking about me. When it came to my partner and I's turn to carry the cross, I became very embarrassed. People were looking, glaring, and saying things about me. I did not want to carry the cross, and it was only three city blocks.

This made me reconsider what it means to daily take up my cross and follow Christ. I have never been in a place of absolute fear because of my faith. I have never had my life threatened because of my faith. I have never had service refused, rocks thrown or tires slashed because of my faith. Am I willing to pick up my cross and keep walking even when everybody is watching, laughing, pointing and standing back, not helping, encouraging, supporting, or caring for me? At what point am I going to say, "Enough God. I am done"? At what point will I drop the cross and walk away? If there is a point, I need to sit down and recalculate the cost. For outreach I will be going to a part of the world where Christians are martyred for their faith. Committed followers die even within the safe arms of God and YWAM. Count the cost. Is my life, is your life, truly worth losing just because you believe in some book written a couple thousand years ago?

Hopefully that was not too much of a downer. But seriously, read the Bible. The Bible is almost sickening. The most encouraging parts are words spoken to those enduring persecution. All those letters to the church, why did Saul write them? Because they were not living right or enduring persecution. Count the cost. Now, for the uplifting highlights of the past week:

This here is the cutest nail artist I have ever met!

• Monday evening was out last night babysitting for the Follam family. I was blessed with having a four year old paint my nails then blow dry them for me. He then proceed to blow dry my hair and his younger siblings faces. I am going to miss snuggling, blowing bubbles, playing outside and their hugs. I praise God for the time I was blessed by the 5 Follam children.
• Tuesday in class our speaker had us draw out our dreams. I really struggled with this. I have been told it is not good to dream because it will only mess with my heart. But if it is a God given dream, He will bring it around again and again and again. Dreaming with God is a beautiful thing. He is the perfecter of turning the craziest imagination into a reality, think creation. I dreamed with God about having a husband and lots of children. I dreamed of having an open door policy with middle school and high school age kids coming and going, more comfortable in our house than their own. I dreamed of a big garden where I could watch the miracle of growth. I fall deep in love with God when I let Him direct my imagination, and it is a beautiful thing.
• Thursday a lady who came with the speaker spoke on nutrition and the importance of having a healthy body. Our soul, mind and body must all be in sync to be completely effective for God. Loved hearing about nutrition, something I really have a passion for.
• Friday small group we looked at adoption from a Biblical stand point. Queen Ester was an orphan taken in by her cousin. She was also kidnapped and taken to the royal palace. Queen Ester played a part in both the orphan care crisis and human trafficking. Look at her life, she went on to save the nation of Israel. This opened my eyes. Who am I to doubt the abilities of those affected by being orphaned and trafficked. They have so much potential. They have the ability to save nations if only they are given the chance.

  

  I was like a wild animal in its natural habitat.

• Saturday we went hiking. There was lots of rock climbing, using a rope to get up and down different areas, splashing through some creeks and a hot spring! It was amazing! The rock formations blew my mind. I have never hiked in an area like this before. When we were all done, even my arms hurt from having to use my upper body. It was crazy fun. It was so good to be out of the city, be surrounded by nature, and breathe fresh air. 
• I was not created to be a people pleaser. I was created to find my identity, worth and value in God. This will be a life long process. I will have to work hard every single day to remember who I am. There will be days I will not submit to this, but that is okay.  It is okay. I am not a people pleaser. I am a mountain mover. I am created with a divine purpose. I am unique. I am beautiful. I am standing on a firm foundation. I am resting in the palm of the Protector.

Looking back on this week, I would never trade my faith for anything. If I die because of my faith, I would still do it all over again. To fall in love with the people I have met, to see the places God has taken me, to go deeper with my Daddy Abba, to blow bubbles with children, I would do it all over again. Nothing can take away the joy of following God.

 Thank you all for the prayers! With much love and gratitude!!
--Livia

Week 4: Check!

Yes, that is correct, week 4! How can that be?! It has gone by so quickly! My day quickly evaporates into a memory as I fall deeper in love with my Abba, my Daddy.

This week has been crazy, every evening we have been busy turning our typical 10 hour days into 12-15 hour days. Our speaker this week spoke my intellectual love language. Dry humor, very lacking in expression, just his voice going louder and softer. The topic this week was Biblical World View. We discussed topics such as dinosaurs and other giant animals, giants, Noah and the flood, the exodus from Egypt, aliens, atmospheric pressure and the end times. Every topic was presented as a lovely cake: the cake itself being historical facts and accounts, then covered with the frosting of Biblical accounts, then sprinkled with extreme sarcasm all forming the exact food needed to satisfy my appetite.

I struggled at the beginning of the week understanding the importance of the information. Why do I need to know about the Nephilum or about alien abductions in the religious view points? Who cares about matching science with the Bible when discussing the flood and extinction of everything big? Probably not orphan children in Nepal who are hungry. But of course I need to know this. These are the arguments of people yet to be believers. They will pick out parts of the Bible or parts of science and history and demand an explanation. Where there is obvious proof of something, for example fossils or palm trees found frozen in the Arctic, there must be an explanation. It was very exciting for me to have a speaker take the "secular" and turn it into the religious. There is no such thing as a secular-spiritual divide, and God is continuing to make that very clear to me. Science is nothing without the Creator of the world. Evolution is not possible without the Creator of the world. My life is nothing without the Creator of the world.

Wednesday evening we had a free prayer outreach. We went to Fremont, a downtown area, the so called family friendly version of the Strip, there is no such thing however. A guy dressed as Elvis approached me while I was holding the 'Free Prayer' sign. He told me right away that he was an atheist and asked me what I was doing. I told him we were praying and asked him if I could pray for him. He said, "Sure. It wont do me any good because there is no one out there, but if you want to." Let's get this straight, an atheist approached me and allowed me to pray for him even though "there is no one out there". It was such a neat, encouraging and joy filling situation. His eyes had a twinkling in them, saying much different things than his words.

Other highlights:

My amazing YWAM family. Just cause we live in the hood,
don't mean we can't look good!

• Monday night there was praise and worship night led by some amazing people from a church here in Vegas called Grace City. These people are highly invested in YWAM because they believe in championing young visionary missionaries. It was about two hours of music just sitting in the presence of the Lord.
• Tuesday evening we watched the Daniel Project. It is about the fulfillment of prophecy in today times. Did you know Jesus fulfilled 360 Old Testament prophecies just in the last 6 days of His ministry? Unfortunately I napped through 3/4 of the movie. The 1/4 I did see, however, was very good!
• Friday night I rocked a two and half year old for about 45 minutes during a babysitting outreach to a foster care family. So good to cuddle!
• Friday night was also karaoke night followed by a midnight o'clock Denny's trip. Lots of sugar, little sleep, and very early morning hours all combined for a priceless ab work out from lots of laughing!
• Saturday morning the speaker gave me a ride on his sports motorcycle. First time on a motorcycle, and it was way fun.
• Saturday evening we, as a YWAM family, went out on the town all fancied up to the cheesecake factory. We had a two hour wait that allowed for some adventuring on the strip and through Caesar's Palace. There was also lightening!!
• This afternoon I got to Skype with my family minus Isaac :(
• This afternoon me and another of my YWAM sisters, Hannah, were adventuring in the arts district of Fremont called Container Park. We walked past this salon called Doll House, and they offered to do our hair for free. I left with a very fancy braided up do and a lifted heart. I felt like a princess, like a very special grown woman. I have never had my hair professionally done before.  

God is doing so much work at transforming lives here in the city. I am falling in love with the 50 shades of brown that surround me. The ghetto does not scare me, but is my home. My home is on the corner of F and Washington, passed by by prostitutes, drug dealers, school children and working adults every day. I love my Daddy, my Abba, who brought me here. He has an amazing imagination that is beautiful when it comes to life!

With much love, peace and grattitude, 

Livia Pezley

Praises!

I am compelled to write because of two HUGE praises I have for God: 1. I slept through the night Tuesday into Wednesday. I woke up right before my alarm and only had one dream that was neither bad nor good. Sounds ridiculous, but I do not remember the last time I slept through the night. 2. It rained on Monday!

I am finding joy in seeing the realities of a fallen world. For example, the other night, I went out with three other young ladies to pass out doughnuts to women on the streets at about 8:30ish. Doughnuts provided us with a way to show love to the prostitutes. My favorite response however came from one lady who replied, "I can only have one, I need to watch my shape." Wait, I think along those lines also! God gave me a connection to the prostitutes. We both like doughnuts and care about our body shape. I have this unnoticed view that I am better because I am not a prostitute, but I am not, we are alike. I am still struggling to process this, but it makes it easier to love when there is a connection.

Last night, Friday night, was outreach night. ODTS (Orphan Care DTS) went over to a family with 5 children, ages 6 and under. I vacuumed for about an hour. I do not know whether I need the vacuum more or the house needed the vacuum more. I hopped around the kitchen with two of the children like a kangaroo and a bunny and we ate frozen grapes. It was perfect. The counters were sticky, floor dirty, children's hair needed brushed, and it felt like home. I miss the family I nanny for. I miss being with kids. I miss feeling like I am making a difference. Lots of times I struggle here on base feeling like I belong and am connecting with the people I live with. I am used to being with kids were if you can make cool flowers out of Playdough, you're in! I have struggled living a "grownup" life, however I feel like God is adding in things, my comfort things, a little at a time, reimmersing me so I can adequately adjust to old life under the new love I have found in God.

Other highlights:

• Wednesday night we helped clean up after baby convention. We helped collected donations the vendors did not want to take home. Living on  base all the time we really do not get to meet new people often. I also fit into some of the stroller and enjoyed being pushed around. 
• Thursday in small group we talked about being a woman. Yes, I am a woman, but no I do not really live by it. I live for jeans and t-shirts. I am not into the dressing up, make-up, girly things. I took the comments of beauty being fleeting and turned them into a lie meaning beauty is pointless. God did not make my body so I could hate it. God made my body so I can love it and others with it. He gave me little arms that struggle opening jars so I can unapologeticly ask my larger armed male counterpart for help, and that is okay. I am learning to take pride in being a woman, and it is very joy filled.
• Thursday night we went over to a staff members house. He and his wife have five children and live in a neighborhood with trees and grass!
• Yesterday I gave two presentations. One of the Bible character Ruth and the other on YWAM Core Value #6, Championing Young People. 
• Tea time is my favorite thing. Tuesday and Thrusday from 10:15-10:30 and Friday from 3-4 we have community bonding time. We are served coffee, tea or chia with expired pastries. YWAM continues to prove it is very sketchy, yet it continues to prove even more the joy of being in community.

Prayer Requests and Struggles:

• I am really struggling from not having human touch. On campus we would give hugs like nobody's business and being a nanny I always had the kids. I never realized how simply touching a person changes them. 
• God is working and rearranging my agenda some more. I ask for prayer on clarity in hearing Him and a willingness to follow.
• This was a tough week. The speaker upset me on a lot of things, but I learned respect. I do not think this will be the toughest week by any means however. I ask for prayer that I learn to not shut down and build up a wall, but that I am open firstly with God and then with others. Please pray for vulnerability.
• Safety for the women on the streets. There is a turf war of sorts happening where we are at. These women are women just like me. They are doing their job and trying to survive. Please pray for their safety and their openness with YWAM and other organizations trying to provide safe havens for them.

Thank you! With much love!

Livia

Week 2: Check!

My day begins at 4:50. Sometimes I climb off my top bunk, sometimes I lay there a little longer. I proceed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. By 5:15 a.m I have drank 20 oz of water and have coffee brewing. I then spend time with the Lord. Sometimes that means laying in the prayer room listening to music, sometimes journal, sometimes reading the Bible, sometimes conversing with God, and sometimes I mix it all together. By 6 I have completed my first cup of coffee and have drank 40 oz of water. I pour myself a new cup of coffee, grab some breakfast and proceed to the back courtyard of the complex where I have less of a chance of being disturbed. By 8 a.m I head inside to brush my teeth and refill my water bottle, by now I should have drank 60 oz of water.

This past week our class, we spend about 5 hours in class each day, was discussing the Father Heart of God. Some key points that have very much impact me from this week are:

• We build walls only to paint them with expectations that people love, but we are not the wall, we are hiding behind the wall
• Living without expectations brings in a deep vulnerability
• For example: Not saying, "I expect you to love me" but "I desire you to love me"
• True sons and daughters are unafraid to be transparent because they do not find their worth in others
• Waiting for instructions is a good indication we do not know who we are
• Guilt= I am not doing enough; Shame= I am not enough
• The Father never wastes a hurt
• Obey in Hebrew means to listen, it has nothing to do with performance
• We need to listen to the Lord, not perform for Him
• Performing is not truly to impress God, but to impress others
• With adoption comes a new name, not an earthly name, but a divinely appointed name which will contradict what we have always believed about ourselves

Because I have been adopted by the Creator of the Universe, my new name is Livia Francis, the loved and beautiful and brave one. Why? I have not always been told I was loved or beautiful by those closest. I was told goodnight and beauty is not important. I was told to be strong, but being strong is holding in emotion, carrying heavy loads and never being knocked down. Loved is being vulnerable. Beautiful is believing everyday a different part of me is wonderful, even my weird looking big toe. Brave is being scared and is getting knocked down, but getting back up and fighting because I have firm beliefs I will defend no matter what the cost. 

Here is the picture I drew with my new name. Out of relationships comes thriving; out of thriving stems the word Abba and adoption. Out of adoption stems the big leaf at the top reading 'who I am' and the flower. At the center of the flower is 'love', in each leaf is 'beautiful' and then 'brave'. We have journal requirements that will be read by our one-on-one leader, one of the requirements at the end of the week is to reflect in a creative manner, this is my creative reflection!

Other challenges from this week:

-Last night, Saturday, we did evangelism for two hours on the strip. This was my first time on the strip at night. God opened my eyes to the reality of what a fallen world looks like. I came back to base and I could smell alcohol and smoke on me from just walking around.

-I was, once again, disturbed during my morning devotions by a guy. This one however, asks me questions, making me think, not simply accept, my faith. For example, "Do you believe in the secular?" and "Is Jesus the ends to the means or the means to the end?"

-Went three days without fruit.

-Wrote a book report on the book Is That Really You, God? by Loren Cunningham. This book tells the story of the birth of YWAM. I forgot how much motivation it takes to read a required book and write a report.

-Cockroaches. They are multiplying. Why, Noah, did you let them on the ark?!

-Noticing the poor. They have become part of the scenery. 

I apologize for not blogging more. The week has been busy, something I am not used too. As I become more accustomed to the scheduling, I will be better at posting how God at work in Las Vegas, in me, and through me. He is constantly on the move in our lives. Be mindful that business takes our eyes off of the miracles around us. Take a break, marvel at the beauty of God, He may never show Himself in the same way again.

With much gratitude and love!

Livia Pezely, the loved and beautiful and brave one!

First Week: Check!

The first week is coming to a close and it has been very good! So, let's make this quick!

Highlights:
-Relationships are the basis of every action in the Bible. God did not preform any action that did not directly impact a relationship. Makes me rethink every way I interact with others.
-We, as a class, discussed hearing the voice of God. We then proceeded to listen to God and shared what He said. He spoke to all of us differently with different verses, pictures and lyrics, yet somehow they all connected. I have never done listening prayer in a big group.
-Got ask to lunch by a homeless man. He then ask for my email, then phone number. I said no to all. His response, "No disrespect. I guess we'll just see how time works itself out." Then winked...
-Watching the sunset over the mountains. The clouds turn into this pink purple hazy glow. WOW!
-I have been making the coffee in the morning. God and I are spending much time over coffee in the morning. I blame Him for my coffee addiction :)
-My roommate Chelsea likes to work out! We ran, yes ran, not a light jog, 1.18 miles the other evening! We took a real quick breather at the half way point. It was super empowering because that is something I do not do. It was a very large accomplishment for me

I also climbed a tree by the fountain in front of Caesar's Palace.

Lowlights:
-I have become accustomed to the prostitutes that live/stand around the block. I am beginning to recognize them in fact. It slightly makes me want to throw up. Especially when I begin to see and recognize the men who hang out around them.
-There is a lady in a wheel chair across and down the street who is in the same spot from, as far as I know, 6 a.m till 8 p.m.
-We went to the strip and through some of the malls and buildings. I passed for the first time high end stores such as Tiffany Co., Louise Vuitton and Dolce and Gabbana. We left these stores and within 5 minutes the side walks under the bridges were lined with sleeping homeless. WHY? Why is this happening? Why do I live such a rich life such a short difference from the poor?
-There are cockroaches. As in you walk into the kitchen and within 5 minutes, you will see at least 3, and that is a good day.

It has been very good. Spending all day with God loving people, learning about the Creator of the universe and falling in love with a city I was determined to hate has been very challenging, but very eye opening. Praise God for what He has done. Praise God for the challenges He has given me. Praise God that I am meeting and seeing His children in a new light. He is good, He is faithful and He is full of new mercies for me everyday!

And So It Began!

I have arrived. I have made friends. I have yet to eat a meal by myself. I almost ate breakfast by myself yesterday, mostly because I was being a crazy person and slept in till 7:00 am Iowa time! However that is only 5:00 am Vegas time. I was up for 2 hours going out of my mind wondering where everybody was! I was able to go outside for my devotions! The doors do have alarms, but I know the passcode. I am looked in this building; I have yet to know if they are keeping the city out, or protecting the city from me. I will even be able to shower every day if I so desire, in fact I could shower every morning and evening.

In 2 Corinthians 1:3,4, it says God will comfort His children in all of their troubles. God's comfort has been very strange this time. Las Vegas is surrounded by mountains like in Alaska and the base itself is a compound which reminds me of Mercedes Christian Church in Texas. I was very upset when God really led me to the Las Vegas base. I did not want to be in the city where there was nothing I loved. But God has comforted me with the desires of my heartWe were driving to Wal-Mart Sunday evening and as we were going down this four-lane highway the mountains were right in front of us. I was stunned and immediately thought, "This looks just like the drive into Palmer, Alaska!" I love Mercedes, it was the first missions trips I ever went on and it was a place where seeking out a way to exercise my leadership ability was encouraged despite my age. God provides in mysterious ways. So often I become so focused on the tasks at hand, I forget to look around me to see God's provisions.

I was even able to go hiking yesterday. No, it was by no means a mountain, but I was able to view the city in a new way. Currently I live in the ghetto.  Am I safe? Yes. Would I be safe if I went into the alley behind our building by myself at night? Absolutely not! There are homeless people around our building and what I would assume to be prostitutes. This view shows how desolate Vegas truly is. They are thirsty and desperately in need of the living water to cover their city.

We enjoyed a lovely picnic last dinner followed by some volleyball. We then went to a staff members house to watch a video of Loren Cunningham speaking, the founder of YWAM. I began this blog by saying how good everything is because I am pretty much getting my way. Loren, however, began his lecture by saying we are to relinquish our rights, starting with the basic right of freedom. To be willing to give everything up so the Lord can work in me, is not something I fully understand. It is to relinquish our rights to voice our opinion, to become anger, to become frustrated, our right of sleep, human touch, sight, our right to hear. Following God is not simply giving up our material possessions and comforts and going, it is giving up everything we contain, our characteristics, passions and dreams.

Maybe I no longer know what it is to live a life in surrender to God. I pray, and ask for prayer as well, that I will know what it is to be on my knees again, surrendering all that I am to the Lord. I ask for prayer that I will pray dangerously and mean every syllable I speak. To no longer live gripping my rights and to no longer pray wimpy prayers for God's will to be done, but praying boldly with complete confidence that God will do miracles believed to only be found in the Bible.

As the Sunday school song says, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." I can not shine my light by simply going through the mundane tasks of life as my secular peer goes through their day. To shine my light is to be intentional, bold, and living a life lead by prayer, not led by me. I ask for prayer that I will relinquish my right to come before the Lord asking for His stamp of approval on my plans. I ask for prayer that I will instead, go before the Lord saying, "Here am I! Send me!"

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in Your unfailing love." Psalm 31:14-16

Just.... Breath

I will be leaving in less than 2 days for Las Vegas. I have been receiving a lot of the same two questions: Are you ready? Are you nervous?

Am I ready? I am to the best of my knowledge. How can I truly be ready for a city with the population of the entire state of Iowa? How can I truly be ready when I do not know what I will be doing, what my classes will be like, who I will be living with or how often I will be able to call home? But, I have my Snuggie and deodorant, so yes, I think I am ready!

The 'am I nervous' question can also be replaced with, 'what are you most worried about' question. What am I worried about? Well, let me tell you! I will be picked up early afternoon on Sunday, is that enough times to make friends? Who am I going to sit with at dinner Sunday night? What will be for dinner? I do not eat food from a can, meat, processed food or very many breads, am I going to end up starving in the corner alone because I have no friends? How often will I be able to do laundry? Will I be close to a post office if I need stamps? Oh goodness, I am stressing out here! I workout to reduce stress, will I be able to work out? Do they have a little gym where I am staying? What if I want to go for a walk in the morning, is that permissible? Wait, I'm a morning person. So Monday morning when I naturally wake up at 5 am what do I do? Do I lay in bed, do I get up, can I go outside and do my devotions outside? What if the doors have alarms and I set one off going outside in the morning? Okay, breathe, just breathe. It will all be okay.

So I go through my list of concerns with other people, typically not giving them the entire list though. And they laugh, often replying with, "So you're not concerned about being robbed, kidnapped, being around prostitutes and pimps, being forced into prostitution and having a pimp, being in the heart of Sin City, or being killed?" Wow, okay, that makes me feel so much better. No, I had not even been concerned about those things, but now I am!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

In all reality though, I am exstatic. When David said the joy of the Lord is his strength, I understand that. I am not sitting in my room running through all possible mishaps that I could encounter, in fact I only begin to worry when somebody asks me if I am worrying. I sit in my room filled with joyous emotions. I may be going to Sin City, but God is going to be with me. He will enable me to withstand temptation. Even though I may be walking through streets of darkness and despair, I will not fear the evil lurking around me, because my Shepard will be with me, His rod and His staff of protection will comfort me. I am overwhelmed. If I set off the alarms in the morning, everybody can join me outside for devotions. If there is not a post office near by, I will have a nice walk/workout on the weekends. If I do not have a gym to use as a de-stresser, maybe I will finally learn what it means to fully cast my cares on the Lord. And maybe I will become less of a food snob; let's not push it to far though :)

Please be in prayer for me. God may be with me and He may command me to be strong and courageous, but I am still shaking in my boots.

With much love and gratitude,
Livia Francis Pezley