The Human Nature

We have moved locations from Chiang Mai to a town on the board of Myanmar to a town called Mae Sot. Our house is basic. Our beds require mosquitoes nets, the walls bear signs of water damage and mold, our toilets, though they be western, require us to dump water in them and the stove top burners house many spiders and ants. Oh, the ants! Everywhere! The room I am staying in has a dim light bulb you plug into the wall socket (unlike 1.6 billion people in the world who have no electricity) and the door stays shut with a piece of yarn and rubber band contraption.

Our last location was a nice house. Basic kitchen and a typical Asian shower, meaning the wall facet drains across the entire floor into a drain or hole in the wall. But there our toilets were western flushing. I shared a king bed with our own bathroom. Luxurious for over 80% of the world's population.

Our ministries have varied from farming for a half-way house, to teaching in boys juvenile prison, to teaching monks English, to praying for people in government hospitals, to building playgrounds and playing with children. Our meals have mostly consisted of random roadside food stands with the most killer pad Thai I have ever had! Evangelism has been difficult as to us having zero Thai, however when we meet someone who does not speak any English we have Thai tracts and Bibles to give them.

Here in Mae Sot the Pastor will simply say, "Okay, perform." Meaning skit song, or testimony. We have joined with a YWAM team from Wisconsin who warned us, yet we were still unprepared.

My human nature took the best of me with the untold of expectations. We were expected to have songs and skits at the ready, something our team did not. We were expected to have Bible lessons and testimonies at the ready, something our team, when unexpectedly asked, was not prepared with.

I was upset when I was asked to tell a story about God working in my life. I was upset at the opportunity to share a Bible story. I was upset when given a soap box from which I could proclaim the greatest love story ever written.

Insert the human nature of self entitlement.

I suppose I could list off many verses or quotes about Jesus never promising safety, comfortable, blah blah blah. Much less life. Life never promised me any of this.

Life never guaranteed when my dad removed my bike's training wheels and let go of me I would remain upright, never acquiring scared knees. Life never promised me a great K-12 education, brains ready to soak up deep philosophical discussions or the natural motivation to study my buns off. Life never promised me a a 9-5 job void of tedious resume writings and worrisome interviews. Life never promised me airplane rides with abundance of leg room, delicious food and stench free seat neighbors (or me always being the stench neighbor).

My human nature of self entitlement whispers the lie I need to know so I can prepare. I need to prepare a five point, theologically sound, with a few well known Christian quotes thrown in here and there, sermon to be presentable. I need to be prepared to harmonize in song and be a flawless actresses in skits. I need to prepare to eliminate all possibilities of blunders or embarrassments.

My human nature of self entitlement goes back to the idea of being comfortable so I may achieve some untold of standard of acceptable, so I can pass some ludicrous idea of what it is conqueror some moment with great brilliance.

Somewhere, in my self entitlement, in my planning, the wild spontaneity of God is removed. The mystery of the Gospel is no longer needed for the infinite questions are somehow concluded with finite answers. The excitement of new food and risk of diarrhea is rejected in finding the clean mundane western restaurant. The joy of being loved is taken away in being weary of head lice, scabies and unwashed bodies. The crazy love He has for me, the wild adventures He has planned for me, or the beauty of His widespread creation would never be known if I stayed within the small confines of my human nature.

Our worst and greatest team selfie yet.