Outreach: Check!

One "Fun Day" Saturday we decided to have face paint and
balloon animals with the girls.

Today was our first full day back in the states. India was amazing; I completely fell in love with the people, country and culture. Unfortunately we were in a place where wifi was not always an option, and the limited wifi did not allow me to post blogs. So, here is a short and concise overview of the past couple weeks.

Hard Moments:

• ·         We went to 3 different slums. It was very difficult in one particular slum; we come around a corner and there is a small baby girl sitting bare bottomed in dirty water on the ground next to her mom who is cleaning things. It is hard to see the children, then leave.
• ·         People were always watching us. They would stare like crazy, even when we were in the Jeeps traveling. People would ask for photos with us in public. It made traveling and ministry difficult, it also limited our opportunities to go out.
• ·         You must have a preaching permit to preach in India, something we did not. This also limited our opportunities because of the press and persecution to believers. We had to cancel a couple speaking engagements because of this.
• ·         We went prayer walking in Calcutta around this temple where human sacrifices of baby girls are still prevalent, and baby girls are also offered as temple prostitutes. Two things that are actually acceptable and encouraged.



After our zoo visit we went to play and have a picnic at a park.

• ·         Saying goodbye to the girls on Christmas night. We gathered all the girls together and debriefed as a large group. We then had the girls all line up so we could say goodbye and hug every one of them. We were crying, they were crying, it was crazy hard. I have never had a more difficult time saying goodbye before that. 

Our Christmas saris!

One of the villages I was able to speak at. I preached out
of Matthew 20 at this church.

Highlights:

• ·         The girls taught us different Hindi songs, words, games and dances. They were so patient with us. Granted they laughed at us more than anything, but it was such a loving relationship.
• ·         Tea was brought to us 3 times a day: 8:00 a.m, 11:45 a.m, and 3:45 p.m. It was brought to wherever we were, even if we were in the garden.
• ·         For a week I was able to teach English to the girls. I learned I really enjoy teaching English, but it is also difficult. The girls were varying in ages and some of them have already learned English. Then of course there are all those grammar rules, past tense, future tense, and so on and so on and so on. It is actually difficult to keep the English language simple.
• ·         We went to a couple different villages. I loved being able to see the different cultures of each village. They were amazing at welcoming us. Some villages welcomed us with parades, some with drums and dancing, others with strands of garland necklaces.
•  Strangers allow you to hold their babies in villages. Naturally I asked to hold the smallest baby at each village
• ·         The food. I would not eat a lot of food in America because it did not look appealing or I simply did not want to try it. Being a guest however requires you to eat a lot of food, and being in a foreign country, you have no other food to eat. Turns out I really like Indian food!
• ·         Each night we had an hour with the girls for Bible time. We had worship, Bible lesson, then an activity. At first it was difficult because of the translator, then we began to simplify and cut straight to the point, a much easier way to get a message across anyhow. The activity was also an amazing time for us to sit with the girls.
• ·         We went to the zoo with the girls. It was so much fun to go out with the girls. The zoo is not anything like American zoos.
• ·         I learned how to use one bucket for showing, which was heated by a light bulb, and fell in love with the squatty toilets. Two things I did not expect AT ALL!
• ·         Christmas!!! Christmas Eve dancing began at 3:00 p.m and ended at 12:00 midnight. Then Christmas dancing began after the morning service for a couple hours, then there was the children’s program then more dancing from 4:00 p.m to 12:00 p.m. There were fireworks and lots of dancing. It was insane! The director and his wife purchased saris for each of us girls for Christmas. It was a beautiful Christmas, by far the best Christmas I have ever had!

We visited Queen Victoria's palace in Calcutta. Naturally we
pretended to drink tea.

As we enter back into the states, I begin the last two weeks of DTS. I have no idea what I will be doing after the DTS, and that is okay. I have had so many, fell in love with so many new people, and have been exposed to so many new possibilities. The crazy thing about conquering something, no matter how small, is you begin to realize how through the strength of the Lord, anything can be conquered. I have come to realize I have limited myself so much in the past. I have believed lies saying I am incapable, I am too young, I have no special gifts. The beautiful thing about God is He lives inside of us. By limiting ourselves, we limited God in us. By living without limits, by living in freedom, we are allowing the limitless God to freely move through us.

India: Check!

After a short hour and a half flight from Kathmandu into Kolkata, followed by a four hour train ride and a ten minute jeep ride, we arrived at our new home for the next 3 ½ weeks. Our new home is shared with 72 orphan and semi-orphan girls who have never seen blonde hair before and 6 other staff. Our new home is a school, orphanage, church and meeting center for these young girls. The 6 of us ODTS girls share two conjoined rooms. There are two single beds and two double beds. The best part however, is the small cat who is very fond of our small abode.

We are extremely spoiled. The girls have morning work duties at 6:30 a.m. which include sweeping the halls, washing floors, and cleaning the bathrooms, we have no work duties or cleaning to do. We have morning tea brought to us in our rooms at 7:30 a.m. as well as mid-morning and afternoon tea brought to us. And oh my, can they make tea! Our meals are prepared for us. We are spoiled with Indian food, orange juice in the mornings, oranges and bananas! Unlike Nepal, we actually have enough silverware, as in soup spoons, spoons, forks and knifes enough for us all. They have several different dish sets and a vast array of tea sets. They even have a dining room complete with table and chairs.

There are multiple differences that two months ago I would have been annoyed with but now I barely even notice. We take bucket showers we have to warm up with a light bulb. One bucket I learned is actually more than enough water. In the afternoons from 1:00-4:00 the electricity does not work. Occasionally it does not work at other times as well. Our home is the very last on the electric line, so sometimes there is no electricity left for us. And the wifi is very difficult to use and does not allow us to upload photos. It is very slow; what would be a five minute internet usage time back even in Nepal here turns into twenty minutes.

The orphanage is Christian based and ran by a YWAMer. The girls have 6 a.m. worship time, work duties, personal devotion time, schooling, and then we work with them in the afternoon. We teach English and music, we are preparing a Christmas program with them, organized Christmas decoration time, then we play with them for an hour outside. The Christmas program is going to be 3 hours long, something we though was very long, but then they told us the Christmas celebration begins December 24 and goes until December 26 with dancing all through the night. After dinner is 30 minutes of out loud prayer time, then the girls usually have an hour of studying, but the director decided to change that and have us lead a hour of Bible time.

I have teaching the girls English which I find to be very difficult. The girls can read English and pronounce the words, but it is the sentence and conversation formation that is difficult for them. They are drilled in memorization. Their schooling is very structured. We have found it difficult when we ask for creative responses or if they have any questions, they do not have either.

The girls are complete servant hearted young women. I was going to do my laundry the other day so I took my clothes to the water pump in a bucket. Instantly a group formed around me. One girl took the bucket from my hand, said, “Sister, sister,” and waved her hand at me. A couple other girls filled four other buckets with water and they washed my clothes for me. At first I was shocked, then amazed, then embarrassed at how dirty my clothes were, I definitely have not been washing my clothes the right way. They took a bar of laundry soap and scrubbed each of my clothes, balled up the clothing article, pounded it into the ground, then rinsed each piece in all four buckets. In my defense, most of the clothes I had worn while on our four day trek, which actually was just two different outfits. I was very embarrassed. They took my clothes, hung them on the line, and I found them folding my laundry later in the evening.

I find myself in a service based culture, not knowing what to do. It can be rude of me to try to help, and yet I feel inadequate not helping. One morning we came back to our room which they cleaned for us. It does not feel right to expect them to serve us, yet that is what this culture expects. The way the girls are serving us, is the way they would be serving their parents. This is the service Jesus talks about in Matthew 20:28 when He says, “The Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve.” The girls service with a cheerful heart, no complaining, no arguing. In an honor based, service based society, I find myself struggling both to service and to be served. I am learning to serve sacrificially in new ways, such as giving up time alone, playing duck duck goose for the 80^th time, and to be patient while teaching Hindi speaking preschoolers English Christmas carols. I am very much loving all my new sisters! 

Village Life Round 2!

My "Birthday baby"

It was a long, bumpy 5 hour van ride. There were squatty stops, snack breaks, and a stop for those who got motion sick. Sunday night I slept in a strangers house, a believer who had only two rooms in their mud house. I slept with another gal from our DTS on a board under a mosquito net, a first for me.

December 1, my 19th Birthday, I woke up feeling well rested. I was greeted with a "Birthday cake". It was an Oreo cake mix brought from America put inside a semi-empty old peanut butter jar. 2 years ago I would have laughed at it, 1 year ago I would have called it a poor college kid cake, 5 months ago I would have called it a ghetto cake, now I call it a love missionary cake. The more God moves me around locationally, the more I fall in love with where I am. Being away from my family for the first time on my Birthday did not bring me to tears, being surrounded by all these people who love me did.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we hiked over 25 miles, over 358 stories, for hours and hours. We

Acquiring drinking water out of a bamboo spiket on the side
of a cliff. 

were soar, hungry and thirsty. We drank from streams, crossed rivers, washed our faces in waterfalls, trekked through marijuana fields, avoided goat stampede, and treed lightly on the edge of cliffs. We ate dole beans with pebbles in it, ate honey with bees and bee larva still in it, had to wait for dinner because our rice was being carried up a mountain, and drank water that had to be hauled from a 3 hour hike away. The tropical jungles and the fields of poppy, mustard, and rice were screaming with the beauty of creation.

We were able to to stop in 7 different churches to share a message to encourage the congregation. The churches were either mud huts with thatch roof or a tin roof, or they were bamboo walls with boards for floors with stables underneath. The floors were either mud or dirt and the walls crawling with spiders. The people were dirty, had head lice, and the babies did not wear diapers. We even road on top of a bus through water, as in the bus drove through rivers and sandbars.

We had an incident where our base director was drumming and yelling at us to hurry up and pack one morning. One of our translators rushed into the mud church and said he must stop, he sounded like a witch doctor.

On top of the bus that crossed the river.

I would often stop to catch my breath and I had to shake my head when I realized what I was doing. I am living what I always dreamed of. It is not easy. There were many moments when I wanted to sit on the trail and cry. I was in physical pain. I did not see the point of what we were doing at times. We stopped at churches, we did not need to go because they were already reached. It was worth it. It was worth the hike just to be in fellowship for 20 minutes with one church. It was worth the pain to meat my brothers and sisters for just one time and never see them again until I join them in eternity.

I have never pushed myself so hard. In Philippians it says, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength," Paul means anything. When we are in the will of the Lord, we will be given extraordinary strength. There were people in our group who kept falling, rolling their ankles and they would stand up fine. We were beyond dehydrated, but not one of us got sick from dehydration. The energy and physical strength needed for us to complete the trek was not our own. The strength and protection of the Lord is often unseen. It is up to us to stop and realize we are living, breathing miracles. Everyday is not our own. We do not live according to our own will and ability. We live in accordance to Him who gives and takes away. There is no other place I would rather live than in that presence.

Naplese Thanksgiving: Check!

My first Thanksgiving away from home was...amazing. My day started as it normally does, 4:45 I roll out of bed, boil some water for coffee and spend time in devotions. Our ministry day began earlier than normal. 7 we left for our contacts house, a mile from our home. Wrong house. Mile there, mile back, half mile to the right place. Oh, did I mention the hills here in Kathmandu, they definitely give you a good leg work out. We arrive 45 minutes late; we Westerners are very upset and frustrated, we hate being late. The Agape ministry we are working with greets us and laughs, thankful we finally arrived!

After futball, we gave rice and chicken soup to all the kids and
shared a skit about the armor of God.

Our morning ministry was futball with the slum boys. It was very organized. The little kids played in one part of the large open field and the older kids played on the other. I joined the older boys, about ages 13-18. We split into 3 teams. Dilip, our contact, explained the rules which all the boys knew, prayed, then began the game. We would play for 10 minutes or the first team to score would win, then the losing team sat down and the team sitting out would play the winning team. This went on for about 3 hours. Despite being slum kids, they all arrived at the field, then went and changed into their soccer jerseys and shorts which were extremely clean and well kept. It was one of the most clean soccer games I have ever seen.

Me with part of my futball team and some younger boys.

It was interesting to watch the older boys then be with the younger boys. The younger boys were extremely violent. They would just punch, wrestle, and curse at each other. Watching the younger boys, it seems very distressing. These boys, maybe age 6, are a reflection of all they know. They know no other life than violence. Hitting each other can be an act of play, an expression of hurt feelings, a way to prove a point, essentially, hitting each other just goes with everything. But then you look at the older boys. The older boys were well organized, they called in a boy from the team sitting out to ref the games, there was no fighting after a team won. Occasionally I would catch the Nepalese word 'ramri', or beautiful; it made me laugh that they would smack talk and call each other 'beautiful'. But it gave me hope that, yes these young boys are violent, but nobody is stuck. There is always time for change and growth. No person is helpless or hopeless, they simply need someone who is willing to invest in a relationship with them.

Last night Hannah and I made the Thanksgiving dinner. It was tricky. We struggled because most
 American recipes call for butter, lots of butter. So, we spoiled the group and bought butter. We have a limited amount of utensils, as in for dinner I ate with my hands because we do not have enough spoons and forks for all 9 of us (I also like using my hands, something very acceptable here). We only have 2 propane burners to work from as well, no oven. Somehow we managed to make frozen corn and peas, chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. The mashed potatoes were an effort. We only had a broken whisk; I partly whisked, partly fork mashed and partly hand mashed the potatoes. But they had buffalo milk and butter in them, kind of like America. The gravy was chicken bouillon soup and some flour that is nothing like our flour back in the states. For dessert we tried to make butterscotch roos, but for a bag of about 1 pound of sugar cost $17 American dollars, so we used butter and crystallized brown sugar that made caramel, we had to use off brand chocolate ricecrispes that were a bit stale and some sugar free corn flakes. For some reason Hannah brought butterscotch chips to Nepal and I had a jar of Skippy peanut butter. Peanut butter here comes in small jars and is very expensive, and they do not sell chocolate chips here. We had only two coffee tables to eat on and no chairs. Somehow, it all worked together.

I could easily say this made me thankful for all the things I have back in the states, yet none of that came to my mind. I was so focused on how much fun it was to cook with Hannah. I was caught in this moment of extreme love. The 9 of us are a family. We bicker with each other, we make fun of each other's smelly poop, we wash clothes with each other, we pray with each other, we love each other.

Kev, Jenny, Kat, Chel, Kreu, Hannah, Me, Vacheral. The
wonderful family with Teresa taking the photo.

For me, the big lesson I learned this Thanksgiving, was to be appreciative where I am at with what I have. It does not do to focus on all the things God blessed me with back home, that is being thankful for the past and for the future when I return to those things. I discovered how thankful I was for the present. No American football, but I was welcomed in by a bunch of slum boys to play futball. No glass of A&E milk, but we had buffalo milk in the mashed potatoes. No chairs to sit on, but I am so thankful for the blankets we did have to cover our cold tile floor. No Macy's Day Parade, but our neighbors across the street had a wedding which included a parade, complete with dancing, trumpets, drums and a tuba that lasted at least an hour.

When I stop and think about it, I do not understand how we all wound up in Nepal. We come from all different backgrounds with different stories, but we all share a deep passion for the Lord. Being under the shadow of the cross I see only testimonies. The crazy plans God laid out for us before we were even a thought to our parents, before our parents were even a though to their parents, brought us together. I am overwhelmingly thankful for the divine appointments God predestined for me.

The Heart Needs

One thing I pray for is for God to remember I am only human. I often pray for God to overwhelm me, to break my heart for what breaks His, to open my eyes to see hurt the way He sees it, but to remember I am only human. The prayers are almost contradictory. There is no way I can have my heart broken the way sin breaks God's heart, I would not be able to comprehend or contain the emotion. God does remember we are only human.

I was talking with a friend about the idea of crazy DTS stories. The DTS before us has many stories of healing; I came to Nepal expecting to see miraculous healing daily. While we have seen healing and struck up conversations with complete strangers who are somehow tied to YWAM or to our contacts here in Kathmandu, everyday is not the crazy story you read in the books.  God doesn't need crazy stories to work, He simply needs a willing heart.

I believe God remembers I am only human He takes care of the heart needs of His children, He notices our every desire and our passion. When we align our hearts with God's, He so beautifully provides for us. Maybe seeing a a dread man raised to life was not what I needed to see God, maybe holding a baby was. Maybe seeing a crippled man stand straight would not have brought God as much glory in my life as cutting a woman's hair. He remembers that I am only human, He notices what my human soul needs.

There is a long concrete wall near our home people have
decided to spray paint with revolutionary pictures and quotes.
This picture took hold of my heart. 

God will not give us anything out of His magnificent timing. He knows our every need and what provision will sufficiently satisfy that need. Sometimes we need to see Him grow a hand back, sometimes we need a hug, sometimes we need to hear the laughter of a mute baby, sometimes we need a latte with a beautiful design in the foam, sometimes we need to feel the rain in the middle of a drought, sometimes we need a nap. The way He so preciously takes care of our unique and individual needs always amazes me. He takes captive of our every dream and passion and raptures our hearts by fulfilling these deep yearnings He gave us.

I was reading an article the other day about how we millennial, especially in the church, are being pumped with the mentality of rising to greatness in such a way that we are looking over our everyday lives resulting in us never finding satisfaction in God because we label His miracles of simply living another day as mundane. I think that is the biggest thing I'm learning on outreach, is to stop looking for these huge things and realize I'm living in the huge miracle of God's creation surrounded by millions of little miracles. No person is in more need or has greater value than the person God puts before us. In our paths will fall the right people.

Village Life: Check!

My favorite thing was holding this little girl!

Last night I listened to an online sermon from Pastor Joel from the church I attend back in Iowa. He spoke on making camp with God. It hit me hard. Making camp with God means having no permanent location, camp is only temporary. Camping is a beautiful thing when there is nice weather,  your tent is set up on a soft piece of land, and is wonderful when there is not a fear of wild animals lurking in the dark. And for those other campers out there, we know this is not always true about camping. Camping, the in-tents way, is called roughing it for a reason.

We returned from spending 4 days and 3 nights in a village 5 hours outside of Kathmandu. We stayed in a mud church. The roof, sheets of tin, were held in place by bamboo and rope. 14 of us slept on the floor which was covered with a very thin foam pad. It was the same floor we shared meals on, made balloon animals for children, prayed for women, and praised our Abba on. There was a little under and inch of space between the top of the wall and the roof where you would see the occasional salamander crawling. This space also let in the cold mountain air at night. The first night I barely slept a wink, the second night I slept at least six hours, then the third night I could not wait to crawl into my sleeping bag. It was so cold. My head throbbed in the morning from no pillow. Is this the cost of discipleship or am I sleeping the way millions of people sleep every night?

Mr. Kevin and I giving the hygiene talk to the children.

 We did ministry in the village for two days; the first day was for children and the second day was for women. I gave a hygiene talk to the children with the help of Kevin dressed as a clown to make the talk humorous. I also gave a hygiene and wellness talk to the women, something I was so ecstatic about! It was difficult to explain the importance of wearing shoes outside when they never wear shoes inside. It was difficult to explain the concept of worm parasites live in the dirt and that is why we need to wear shoes when some of their homes only had dirt floors. It was difficult to explain the importance of brushing your teeth twice a day when I had yet to brush my teeth that day. It was difficult to explain the importance of bathing and washing our faces, feet, and armpits everyday when I had not showered in three days. It was difficult to explain the importance of sanitation and toilets when they maybe have a covered squatty behind their house, most of them only have a hole in the ground. It is difficult to explain that our God heals, but knowledge is a gift from God, and knowledge is more important than medicine when the have been surviving fine without western knowledge.

Some women carrying their baskets along the roadside.

When camping, it is often trial and error. Sometimes we see others tents and realize their tent is better for a certain terrain. We realize we do not know everything, even if we have the newest line of tents from North Face or Propaganda. I, as a westerner, struggled telling the women how to keep clean. These women are amazing. Some came from miles away. These women have given birth in thatched huts with no pain killers. These women work alongside the men in the fields, carrying baskets of produce and rocks on their backs with a strap around their forehead. These women wake before the sunrise to feed their families, work all day, then feed dinner to their families. These women make the food, clothing and home. From dark to dark they work. They are so beautiful.

I did many new things while in the village. I ate a fish fried whole, eyes, head, brain and all, something my vegetarian stomach was not used to. I did dishes outside; we washed each dish, set them on the ground, then rinsed by pouring water out of a basin with a bowl, then we set the dishes in a bigger bowl that was sitting on the ground. Because we, both boys and girls, were sharing the same sleeping room, I changed at night in a field beside the church. I gave hair cuts while squatting in the dirt. I ate a fried hard boiled egg for lunch as I squatted in a field. I went to the bathroom while squatting. I braided hair while squatting. I served food while serving. So much squatting!

Children squatting in the back field with their afternoon snack.

It is not always easy to make camp with God. Making camp with God, as Pastor Joel said in his sermon, is bearing the fruits of the spirit in all situations. For me making camp with God meant using self control and not gagging as I ate a fried fish head. Making camp this week meant not complaining about sleeping on the floor but realizing I was blessed to have four walls that were strong and stable with doors that locked to keep me safe. Somehow, God always brings the sun back out and our damp clothes will dry. We pack up our tent and find a different place to sleep a night. We may have to hike, we may stumble, our legs may begin to ache, and we may go hungry. Emotions are fickle, they are fleeting, momentary tricks our minds play on us to distract us from the glory around us. There is no other place I desire to camp than in the presence of my faithful protector Abba.

Different. Not Weird.

Finally reunited with by bag after four days
without it!

Friday evening we spent the afternoon and evening at Dilip, one of our contacts, house. We made lunch together and ate on the floor of what we would call a living room. Their "couches" is a very thin mattress. As we were cleaning up after our 3:30 lunch and preparing for a night fellowship, I asked if there was a vacuum so I could vacuum the floor. I got laughed at, no verbal response, and was handed a small broom. We had to sweep the floor on our hands and knees because we are so tall, where as they can sweep the floor just bent over. Different.

Public restrooms are squatties. As one gal from our group asked me, "Like going in a field?" Yes. They are much more sanitary; no sitting, no touching. They also give you a good leg workout, perfect your balance, and is an overall healthier way to go to the bathroom. Most do not have any toilet paper, but we spoiled westerners have begun to carry a roll with us. Different.

Our neighbors are working on their balcony/roof. They need bricks and manual labor. The manual labor here is human strength. They carry bricks that were just made outside the building in a basket that has a strap they put around their forehead up 4 stories. These people, both men and women, look to be over the age of 40. We witnessed this same thing when we hiked the mountain on Thursday. I struggled carrying myself up the mountain, these people are carrying baskets of bricks. Different.

Sinks here, if a house has one, has only one sink to wash dishes in. There is not a sink for washing and a sink for putting the clean dishes in. Many of our neighbors wash their dishes on the roof in a bucket of water, the same way we do our laundry. For the first time I washed my laundry by hand. Some of our neighbors also bath on the roof. Different.

Four of us girls in the back of a taxi. Teresa (our leader), Kat,
me and Kreu.

Public transportation is crazy. The roads are crazy. There are no rules, just one goal: survive. The taxis here are equivalent to the size of a Geo car. To save money, we will put four in the back, and one in the front seat, then of course the driver. Yes, it is very uncomfortable, but it is not to bad because you are squeezed in with people you know. The public vans which the Western world would put maybe 15 people in at the absolute maximum, well we were in a van with 31 people. Different.

This is city life. Today, November 17, our group leaves to spend four days in a village. I do not know what to expect, our contact did not even know how to explain the village other than, "It's a village." Our bags are packed with kurtas and traditional clothing. We have ideas of what we will be doing for the children and women, but most importantly we are going with an expectant heart. We could go into this village with a schedule, but miracles are not planned. We pray expecting God to provide us with the opportunity to witness miraculous healing, to see hearts renewed for the love of God, to see broken families made whole in the power of the Lord. We believe our God, the Creator of every emotion, has the power to heal the soul. We believe our God, the Creator of every body, has the power to heal those made in His likeness. We believe our God, the Creator of every truth, has the power to heal the mind of all lies believed.

Our living room/dining room. This is how we eat all our meals!

We believe God is not more powerful or preforms more miracles overseas, we believe God has the exact same authority over all powers and principalities. Pray without doubt. God is ready to move miraculously in the west, He is simply waiting for a vessel to move through. Please do not read my blog, or any other YWAM blog and say, "Wow! YWAMers are amazing!" Yes, we, but God does not have special favor with a group or organization. God moved through uneducated fisherman, through cheating tax collectors, through the tempestuous Sons of Thunder. Be ready for the unplanned work of the Lord to move through you. He loves you, His precious child.

Nepal: Arrived!

30 hours of traveling turned out to not be so bad. I slept so much, more than I have since coming to YWAM in August. My luggage has been lost which I did not even mind. I showered last night for the first time in 4 days and luckily I brought a change of clothing with me in my carry on. It is strange because something I would have died at the thought of before coming to YWAM, did not seem to phase me. Yes, it would be nice to have my tolitries and towel, but I would be okay with only have two pairs of clothing. God has definitely revived my mind to a simple way of life. 

Wifi hub. This is my blogging setup.

My new home is amazing! There are four stories. The first story has a prayer room and a squatty bathroom. The second floor is our flat. There are three bedrooms, a small kitchen, and a bathroom. The third and fourth stories have apartments, but they are locked so I do not know what is inside of them. Then there is the blessed balcony. Oh, the balcony where you can see the bright colored homes, the mountains in the distance and the bustling streets below.

So far we have ventured to a restaurant where we had Nepalese food. Yesterday we hiked onto a mountain where we visited a Hindu temple. This particular temple was a place for infertile women to come and worship so they can conceive. The view is impeccable. You can see part of the city of Kathmandu on one side, the mountains surrounding everything, and the rice paddies on the other side.

Chel, me, Kat, and Kreu on our way down from the mountain
with the rice paddies in the background.

The sight nearly brought me to tears. Everything, even the alter for pagan worship was beautiful. We laugh and think the temples and things they consider sacred are ridiculous, yet so many infertile women will spend thousands of dollars in doctors visits, they will go into depression from an inability to conceive, they lose sight of God and have began to worship the gods that will bring fertility. But this is not for me, none of this was ever created for me. The view, the workmanship needed to resurrect this temple, the energy created to climb to the sight, none of this was ever intended to be for us. We have distorted creation so it pleases us. We have distorted the image of who we are, what we were designed for, and why we were given these passions. . I spent time writing in my journal while we were up on the mountain and God revealed to me areas of my life I have created temples of worship. Good things, things that slowly turn our minds off of God.

Mixed vegetables all from vendors. 

On a happier note, I have been doing meal planning with Teresa and food shopping. I am loving the food shopping. It feels so right and natural. I cannot understand the vendors and shop owners, I struggle with discerning whether the street vegetable venders are giving me a fair deal or not, I struggle with not having a fully equipped kitchen to cook in, but I am loving it. We have four forks in the kitchen, one of which does not have a handle. There are not paper towels, mop, or disinfect spray. We are cooking off two burners, one very small sink, and no towels to dry clean dishes with. Making dinner last night was interesting. We had very limited counter space to cut our vegetables on and we wanted to be sure we had thoroughly cook all them so we would not become sick. We had three pans, Italian sauce pan, noodles pan, and a veggies pan, but only two burners. Ensuring everything is washed and cooked is key to making sure we will be healthy, but is also so second nature to us. My natural instinct is to think I am so blessed with everything I have at home, but maybe I am being wasteful. God has placed me in circumstances that are forcing me to rethink how I live, despite being challenging at times, I am finding much joy in a simpler way of living.

Tea time at Hannah's Cafe!

Lecture Phase: Check!

Wait, what? Lecture phase is over? As in I have lived in Vegas for 11 weeks now and it is time for me to leave? It all began 11 weeks ago when I was picked up by complete strangers, got in a white van with them, and allowed them to drive me into the ghetto. Yet it has been one of the greatest choices I have ever made. Some how I do not mind the constant traffic, the profanity yelled in the night that wakes me from my sleep, I do not mind the lights always aglow, I do not even mind the disgusting cockroaches in the kitchen. But now it is time to leave.

In a satsung. This is the way we will be worshiping together
in a way that is most comfortable for their culture.

This past week we had a semi-normal scheduled. Our base director, Martin, was our lecturer. This week focused all on being prepared for outreach. We had chai at Martin's house and focused on team building. We discussed characteristics we desired to see in our community such as communication and accountability, and things we did not want to see such as exclusiveness and complaining. We practiced telling Bible stories in more of a story format, the way we will be presenting the gospel over there. We practiced face painting, doing nails and making balloon animals; we practiced skits, intercession and talking about proper hygiene in child friendly ways.

Monday we fly out of LAX around 10:30 p.m and arrive in Guangzhou, China around 5:40 a.m Wednesday morning, a 15 hour flight.We have a 3 hour layover then fly from Guangzhou to Kathmandu, Nepal, only a 5 hour flight. That is a lot of hours that I will be sitting and not seeing the outside.

The DTS group. We celebrated Christmas on
base together because we will not be together
for the actual Christmas.

Prayer requests:

• Favor with the governments of Nepal and India, we have yet to acquire our visas.
• Health. Spirit, mind, body are so interconnected, when we are physically off balance, all other areas of our life will follow suit.
• Joy. We will be in the airport a long time. Please pray we will find joy and have fun together.
• For a cultural understanding. No one in our group has been to Nepal, we do not know the culture, language, or norms. 
• No fear. We will make mistakes. Please pray as we love people in the airport and in Nepal we do not fear making mistakes or loudly proclaiming the Gospel.
• Remembrance of God. Not our will, but His be done. This is a hard one to keep in mind.

Am I ready? I do not know. 2 Corinthians 3:2,3 says we ourselves our the letter of God, written on our hearts by the Spirit of the living God for everybody to read. My story is within me. My God promises never to loose me. My Abba told me He has my name iengravedon the palm of His hand, He has a plan and purpose for my life. Everything we as a team need to be successful is within us. The Bible begins in Genesis 1:1 with God and ends in Revelation 22:21 with the grace of the Lord Jesus. As long as we go out remembering we begin and end with the Lord, our stories begin and end with the Lord, our ministry, this world, other's lives, all begin and end with the Lord, we will be find joy in whatever God takes us through. I count it a blessing that God would use my life for His glory. I do not know what to prepare for. But I am expecting to see miracles, see healing
and lives transformed by the Gospel. I am expecting a revival of purpose in others' lives. I am expecting to be overwhelmed and be in awe of who my Creator is.

God has given me a heart for the city, now it is time I allow Him to give me a heart for the nations.

A Wednesday in the Life of Livia.

In class with Pastor Brett.

I realized I never really told any of you what a day looks like for me. Most days have the same schedule with a variation of worship on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday we have tea time for community building. But, here is a basic outline of what Wednesday looks like for me.

4:45 a.m- My alarm goes off
5:30 -6:30 a.m- I am dressed, have a fresh cup of coffee in my hand, have eaten some kind of small breakfast, usually peanut butter and a banana or an apple, I have also finished at least 20 oz of water by now. Then I go into the prayer room to do some devotions and write in my journal.
6:30-7:45 a.m- I have changed into workout clothes. Vacheral and I do some form of workout video from the Youtube, then I go running. Because I have been running for some time now, I have become familiar with some of the children who walk to school and the homeless men. I then shower and have something more to eat, usually a protein bar and yogurt. By now I have drank at least 60 oz of water.

Group of us helping one of our speakers, Rich
and Lynn Hodge, make homemade tacos.

7:45-8:15 a.m- I sit outside and do more personal time with God. Homeless men often talk to me, it can be interesting at times.
8;15-9:00 a.m- Group Bible reading time; there are four of us in our group. We have read through the New Testament and have question sheets we fill out for each book.
9:00-10:00 a.m- Intercession time. We have someone lead us in praying for another country, people group, organization or the like.
10:00-12:00 a.m- Lecture time. The speaker and topic changes every week.
12:00-1:00 p.m- Lunch time.
1:00-3:00 p.m- More lectures.
3:00-5:00 pm- Practical ministries, a.k.a chores. On Wednesday we have indoor work duties. Some one helps make dinner then the rest of us are assigned jobs like cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning the classroom, prayer room and a room called the Granny room, sweeping and mopping the halls. It is nice to contribute to the base, it feels much more like home.
5:00-6:00 p.m- Dinner. On Wednesday I have dinner clean up, so two others and I do the dishes, wipe down the counter space, sweep, and mop.

Helping organize donations for foster families

7:00-? p.m- On Wednesday we have general outreach. All 8 of us students do some form of pre-determined outreach in the community. One time we carried a cross and talked with people on the Strip, another time we had Free Prayer where we were in the old downtown part of Vegas asking people if we could pray for them.
9:30 p.m- Typically by now I am showering and going to bed.

YWAM has been amazing! I share my day with amazing people I now call my family. We live together, work together, learn together, worship together, eat together. We have created the Acts church here for a short while so we can soon go home and multiply.

Week 10: Check!

In 9 days we leave for Nepal. This is crazy!! This week the topic was sex and relationships. Having grown up in the church we are drilled about purity in youth group, Bible camp and youth conferences, so I went into the week with a passive mindset. Yet relationships encompass all aspects of life: child development, gender identity, confrontations and the list goes on. It is crazy how so intricately our body is connect. No speaker has impacted me more than Pat.

One thing that blew my mind was when Pat spoke on child development. Once the baby is conceived, the child begins to know the thoughts and emotions of the mother. The heart needs of a child, even in the womb include feelings of safety, affection, affirmation, value, significance and love. By the time the baby is born, the child will know if he or she is being born into a family where they are loved and accepted. If the baby is a mistake, regret, an unwanted gender, or a burden and the mother thinks and feels this way, the baby will know. From the moment we are conceived, we begin a relationship with our mothers.

This past Wednesday the orphan care DTS led intercession. Intercession is a time to intercede with

Had the chance this week to go swimming and
were able to relax, enjoying each others
company and a good book!

prayers to God on behalf of other people, places or organizations. There are five of us girls in the ODTS and we all chose five different countries to do a brief overview of each countries foster care and orphan care system. I chose to do India because in December the ODTS will be living in an orphanage in India for 3.5 weeks. So, here are some crazy statistics about India:

• Over 1.2 billion people
• Second most populous country
• 9% of India's children are orphans; 31 million orphans
• Home to the largest number of AIDS orphans in the world
• Around 447 million children in India; 1/3 of the country
• India is home to around 19% if the worlds children
• Population of United States, Sweden and United Kingdom combined only reaches around 398 million
• 80.5% of the country is Hindu, 13.8% Islam, 2.3% Christianity

India has a class system based off the Hindu belief system. This system does not allow those of a higher class to associate with those of a lower class. It is believed through the cycle of reincarnation and karma, each person is put into the class system based on their behavior from their previous life. So that three year old girl dieing from AIDS on the side of the road, she is only getting what she deserves from her previous life. 

Yes, these are scary facts. But you cannot simply look at the devastating facts and statistics of child soldiers, HIV/AIDS victims, deaths from preventable diseases. Yes, no the bad. But only focusing on the dark is only giving glory to the one who came to steal and destroy. For example, Compassion International (I love this organization!!) has established 579 child development centers in India since 1968. Over 136,400 children go to these centers meaning they receive at least one fully balanced nutritious meal a day, clean water, education, prayer, a chance to learn about God, and a chance to have truth of who they are spoken to them. 

There is a Starbucks done the road from us, and they know
who we are.

One thing I struggle with is thinking I can actually make an impact when there is so much disaster. But I can love one child, who can love on two children who can love on two children. I can volunteer in an orphanage and give relief to the over worked caregivers. I can feed one child and tell them about the beautiful story of God, this child can be the child who leads their generation into a revolution against human trafficking. God's math is not like our math, He multiplies without rules. RELATIONSHIPS!

Pour into others. There is a lady who sends me Facebook messages of encouragement. She does not know how much her messages refresh my soul. It is the kids who smile and cheer for me on my morning runs as they walk to school. It is the barista at Starbucks whose perky attitude gives me joy. The heart needs of every individual can be met through strangers. You can give a stranger a sense of purpose simply by saying, "Wow, you have amazing customer service skills." When you begin to doubt your impact on the world, you begin to doubt the impact of God working through you. The thing about God is He is ultimately for himself, meaning He will get glory out of you whether you like it or not. How much more beautiful it would be to intentionally create space in our lives for God to create through us.

Week 9: Check!

Friday evening a group of us went to view the city from
the top of the Stratosphere!

Week 9 down, two more weeks to go until we leave for Nepal. This past week was different from most. We had a speaker for Monday and Tuesday, Pastor Zach from Vegas, Wednesday we watched a couple videos about spiritual warfare from the Youtube, and Thursday we had another speaker, Pastor Mark also from Vegas. This week focused more on the upkeep of our souls and self. One beautiful, as well as destructive, thing about YWAM is the enthusiasm of radical faith. YWAM loves to preform miracles of healing and raising the dead, constant ministry, eliminating all ideas of secular living but only living in the spiritual, living supernaturally natural. All Biblical; Jesus himself said with the Holy Spirit in us, we will do more than He did. However we go and go and go, forgetting to rest in the Lord. This week was a beautiful reminder to check our, my, soul.

Highlights from this weeks lectures:

Wednesday evening we hosted a banquet for those in the
community. We sat everybody and served them. No lines, no
clean up, just a time for them to relax and be served!

• Grace: unmerited favor; power, presence and favor of God poured out on us allowing us to walk in strength
• Give up, so I can rise up
• Easier to manifest Heaven when we realize Heaven is in us, therefore all we do is sacred
• When I say yes to God, it's like signing the bottom of a blank page
• When our relationship with the Lord is healthy, all other relationships follow suit
• Spiritual warfare is a fact for every Christian everywhere; life, not a situation
• Evil thought against another is spiritual warfare; we cut ourselves off from their grace
• Resting in the Lord (refusing to worry) is spiritual warfare
• When we stop and create space, we allow God to create
• 4 Helpful questions in evaluating a situation
• What is right?
• What is wrong?
• What is missing?
• What is confusing?
• 4 Helpful questions to ask ourselves:
• Who am I?
• Where am I?
• Where do I want to go?
• How am I going to get there?

Man Kat and I. I was asked to be hostess for the banquet. I
greeted everybody and spoke a welcoming and a closing
then mingled. I was very nervous, but I found much joy in
loving each person who came through the door!

God is not through with making a masterpiece out of you and me. Everyday we are filled with new breathe, we are given another day to live in the palm of His hand. I was not given this life just so I can go atop the Stratosphere or serve the homeless, I was given this life to love those I see. I was given this life to breathe the very air Jesus breathed out. I share the sun and the moon and the stars with billions of others. Jesus' heart was not beating for Himself. His heart beat everyday just so it would stop beating for a sinful nation. Jesus had 3 years of ministry; 91% of His life was training for three years. Is my beating heart supplying life to a body that is being trained for the work of the Lord, or is it supplying life for a body seeking after the vain ambitions of the world? Every breathe is precious, filled with the miracle of life. Do not forget your heart beets 900 times a day. Do not let these moments slip through your fingers. These moments will never be returned to us. 

I am peculiar. I was designed for a purpose.

Uncomfortable Joy

Every morning I would sit outside for some time watching the sunrise and having my morning coffee with God. The past three weeks have been off for me. I am becoming comfortable. The daily scheduled is impressed in me, I am cool about the cockroaches in the kitchen, I am living with family now, no longer strangers to me.

Two evenings ago a young man highly invested in us YWAMers stopped by the base. He so very bluntly at the dinner table said to me, "I'm surprised you have not asked any questions, Livia. What has stolen your joy?" I was very upset. First because he thought I did not have any joy and secondly because he said it in front of everyone *cough, cough* he hurt my pride. So I made a sarcastic comment back, hoping it would look like I was just blowing off the topic. But that did not stop him, he replied, "Are you angry?"

I hated it. Someone confronted an issue of mine in front of everyone. Yup, I needed it. I needed someone to take notice, and take initiative. I needed someone to be straight up with me, and I guess in front of a group was the best place to completely humble me.

He later asked me if I was still sitting outside in the morning. And it hit me, I was depriving God of time with me by not acting on my passions. I do not have a passion for sitting inside, so why do I do my devotions inside? I do not have a passion for staying up late and getting up early, so why do I not go to bed earlier, the way I like so I am not tired? I no longer like coffee (ya lets pray that God fixes this one), so why do I keep drinking it? Why am I doing these things I that do not inspire me?

I have become so comfortable with getting by I am depriving the world of seeing God through the unique passions He has given me.

In a round about way, I am saying if you do not have a passion for something, do not do it! If you are not hungry, do not eat! If you want to run a marathon, start by running up the stairs! Complacency will get you nowhere. Honor God. There are things we may not want to do, but we do them anyways to honor God. God gave me two hands to serve the needs. Needs are not always glamorace, but I do them because I have a passion for God. The cost of discipleship, is our comfort. If Jesus is our model, I doubt He died comfortably with the intent that we will use our redemption just to go to Heaven. Jesus died uncomfortably, so we would have joy in being uncomfortable.

So, if you have word for someone, say it. Do not fear, because they will need the words. This young man who spoke words from God to me was probably uncomfortable, and he sure made me uncomfortable. But I needed it because I was living comfortably and absolutely joyless. Do not doubt your purpose and your impact in this world. The lunch ladies always have more impact on the students than the teachers. Be bold. Be uncomfortable. Be in the love of the Lord.

With my love,
Livia

Week 8: Check!

5 a.m hike to watch the sunrise with some of my beautiful YWAM family!

Highlights from lecture notes on the topic 'The Cost of Discipleship' taught by Jeremy West:

• Being a disciple is showing what I believe in so much I would give everything up
• Do not turn your privileges into rights; we complain and do not want to be told what to do because we believe it is our right to do what we want
• We hear things, think them, agree with them, and are at times moved by them, and by doing so we convince ourselves that we are living the life we "agree" with. Are we dreaming an ideal instead of living the truth?
• There are no great people of God, only a great God of people
• Identity in Christ is sacrifice of identity in self; individualism, not independence
• Be careful not to defend our objectivity in language, entertainment or clothing. Why do we do it?

  

  Decided to rock dreads for the next 3 weeks!

• We are willing to take the blades of glory, but are we willing to take the lower spot? Are we willing to listen and clean our rooms, turn in our journals on time, and clear up small disputes?
• Grace is free, but discipleship is extremely costly. It cost Jesus everything, why would it cost us anything less?
• If I cannot say sorry or admit my mistakes, I should not be in leadership
• Legalism= man made standards and goals to make us better
• We sanitize our wants by calling them desires
• Discipling others and being discipled is worth my discomfort
• Being "relevant" shrinks our sphere of influence quickly and drastically the enemy always wants to split generations, being "relevant" in language and dress will do just that
• We have to burn our ships, that does not mean we will never sail again, we just have to let God take us to a new dock

While the lectures were amazing, it was the way the speaker presented the material: with respect. There was a passion in his eyes radiating his desire for us to grow in our faith, no matter how discomforting the information would make him. Jeremy was honest, convicting, and respectful. He said one thing that made me want to cry, he said, "You are worth it." Me becoming closer to the Lord is worth more than his comfort. Me leading others closer to the Lord is worth more than my comfort, am I living this out? This week has opened my eyes to the way I live. I often complain, slack during work duties, not always turn in things on time, allow my room to become messy, do not make my bed, just because I do not want to; they are an inconvenience to me. The cost of discipleship is being faithful in the small things. If God cannot trust me in the small things, there is no way God will trust me in the big things. He is worth my discomfort.

The city lights are slowly working their way into my heart!