This past week our class, we spend about 5 hours in class each day, was discussing the Father Heart of God. Some key points that have very much impact me from this week are:
- We build walls only to paint them with expectations that people love, but we are not the wall, we are hiding behind the wall
- Living without expectations brings in a deep vulnerability
- For example: Not saying, "I expect you to love me" but "I desire you to love me"
- True sons and daughters are unafraid to be transparent because they do not find their worth in others
- Waiting for instructions is a good indication we do not know who we are
- Guilt= I am not doing enough; Shame= I am not enough
- The Father never wastes a hurt
- Obey in Hebrew means to listen, it has nothing to do with performance
- We need to listen to the Lord, not perform for Him
- Performing is not truly to impress God, but to impress others
- With adoption comes a new name, not an earthly name, but a divinely appointed name which will contradict what we have always believed about ourselves
Because I have been adopted by the Creator of the Universe, my new name is Livia Francis, the loved and beautiful and brave one. Why? I have not always been told I was loved or beautiful by those closest. I was told goodnight and beauty is not important. I was told to be strong, but being strong is holding in emotion, carrying heavy loads and never being knocked down. Loved is being vulnerable. Beautiful is believing everyday a different part of me is wonderful, even my weird looking big toe. Brave is being scared and is getting knocked down, but getting back up and fighting because I have firm beliefs I will defend no matter what the cost.
Here is the picture I drew with my new name. Out of relationships comes thriving; out of thriving stems the word Abba and adoption. Out of adoption stems the big leaf at the top reading 'who I am' and the flower. At the center of the flower is 'love', in each leaf is 'beautiful' and then 'brave'. We have journal requirements that will be read by our one-on-one leader, one of the requirements at the end of the week is to reflect in a creative manner, this is my creative reflection!
Other challenges from this week:
-Last night, Saturday, we did evangelism for two hours on the strip. This was my first time on the strip at night. God opened my eyes to the reality of what a fallen world looks like. I came back to base and I could smell alcohol and smoke on me from just walking around.
-I was, once again, disturbed during my morning devotions by a guy. This one however, asks me questions, making me think, not simply accept, my faith. For example, "Do you believe in the secular?" and "Is Jesus the ends to the means or the means to the end?"
-Went three days without fruit.
-Wrote a book report on the book Is That Really You, God? by Loren Cunningham. This book tells the story of the birth of YWAM. I forgot how much motivation it takes to read a required book and write a report.
-Cockroaches. They are multiplying. Why, Noah, did you let them on the ark?!
-Noticing the poor. They have become part of the scenery.
I apologize for not blogging more. The week has been busy, something I am not used too. As I become more accustomed to the scheduling, I will be better at posting how God at work in Las Vegas, in me, and through me. He is constantly on the move in our lives. Be mindful that business takes our eyes off of the miracles around us. Take a break, marvel at the beauty of God, He may never show Himself in the same way again.
With much gratitude and love!
Livia Pezely, the loved and beautiful and brave one!
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