Learning to Praise

In a world that keeps moving forward, never slowing down, it is so difficult to stand still and listen midst the roaring flood waters. God gives us distractions to see if we are willing to fight hard enough to find Him.

In Hebrews it says to run the race with perseverance. I cannot run when I have my backpack on, carrying a dufflebag, and dragging a rolling suitcase. This is why Jesus told his disciples in Luke 9:3 to "take nothing for the journey - no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt." These were all distractions. When it begins to rain, we worry about our distractions becoming wet, we take extra time to keep them away from the rain instead of allowing the rain to grow us. When we are walking through the desert and we begin to sweat, we worry about our clothing obtaining sweat stains.

But the staff is to help us as we are walking up steep mountains, so why can't we take a staff? Staffs were also used by shepherds to guard their sheep against wolves. What if I encounter wolves? Why can't we take extra bread? What if we find a hungry beggar along the way?

And God says, "Why can't you just trust me?"

Yesterday I woke up feeling free and light. Wednesday night I surrender one of my most prized possessions: a friendship. When God calls us to surrender, we must be willing to surrender everything, even the good things. I do not understand God, but I choose obedience. I was upset with God and I sure let Him know, but I also let Him know that I trust Him through everything. He is my first love. He is my daddy, my Creator. The freedom I felt in the early morning soon dissolved. I began to become distracted by the "what ifs" in life.

I cannot take a staff with me because then I would be relying on my own strength. It would be I who was climbing the mountain and I who was defending the wolf. I cannot take a bag because I would fill it and be burdened. I cannot take extra bread because maybe I am the helpless beggar on the roadside. I am to trust God to give me my bread, my daily bread. I am to take no money and trust God with provisions. The Israelite who wandered the desert for 40 years wore the same shoes and clothing all 40 years, "their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell" (Deuteronomy 8:4). I am to trust my clothing does not wear and my feet do not swell.

All these distractions are taking away from experiencing the fullness of God and His miraculous provisions. I am not to run away from the flood waters, I am to run upstream with perseverance, trusting God to give me strength. Now I am waiting for a for sure acceptance to YWAM. God is so good. His freedom is like nothing else. God is teaching me to surrender and teaching me how to enjoy the flood waters.

A week ago I sent in my application. This week has been so hard. This week experienced more tears than I knew was possible. I have poured out to God and dove into His word. I am in the process of praising God for this week. I am learning. I am opening my heart to hear God. I know that God will not tell me if I am accepted to YWAM until I can praise Him for this week. Until I learn to dance in the rain, I cannot dance in the warm sunlight.

Learning to praise,
Livia