"That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows." Luke 12:47It has been hard listening to my friends talk about signing up for housing or skipping class to register for classes. Girls on my dorm floor are screaming with excitement as they find out they are accepted to study abroad programs. While I am excited for them, it is hard. It is hard to think next fall there will be no excitement of homecoming for Wednesday ice-cream bar. No gennis or meeting new freshman and hearing their horror stories of SOS welcome week. There will be no bragging from me about living in Graham and not having to deal with Scholte fire alarms being pulled. There will be no coffee time after church on Sunday with my mom and sister or Dad's homemade popcorn on Sunday night. I am a part of a club on campus called To Write Love On Her Arm and tonight is officer elections. Somebody is going to be taking my spot.
Instead I have the excitement of checking my email every day to see if there is an email from YWAM. I have the excitement of looking at spring classes. I have the excitement of telling others about YWAM and planning ways to fund-raise. I have the excitement of knowing if I am accepted I will be wearing shorts in Mexico on my birthday, not five layers of clothing and a winter coat.
But really, I have the excitement of the unknown. In the process of pruning me, God is taking away what is familiar. Miracles never come as expected, they are mysterious in nature. Really the title of this blog is not true. I am not preparing for a miracle, I am praying for my eyes to be open and attentive, so when the miracle happens, I see it.
God has taken away so much from me in the past week and a half. When He takes something away, He replaces the opening with more of Him. I remember this feeling, from this past summer while working at Victory Bible Camp. I remember being so free. Then I came home, and let the world come back in. WHY?! I am praising Him. My last blog talked about learning to praise, I am praising Him. I am praising Him for freeing me from the attachments of this world. I am praising Him for taking away mindless time consuming things that allow me more time in the Word. But mostly, I am praising Him for giving me a second chance, or, more accurately, about a billionth chance.
Today I began the process of looking at classes for next spring. Spring 2015. Crazy. Last Friday, April 11, I applied for my leave of absence for fall 2014 from college and reentry second semester. The crazy part is, I have not officially been accepted yet. I am preparing for the miracle. I am allowing God to take away me and leave Him. I am opening my fall schedule expecting Him to work. Then planning my spring schedule, expecting Him to bring me back. Is this right? I do not know. I trust God. I am willing to not go to school next year. I am willing to go to school in the fall. I am willing to go where my Creator leads me. Maybe I am not willing to work on a snake farm, but otherwise, I am pretty willing.
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
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